So I never heard back from the radio station about the job. I did write a follow up letter to keep me fresh in their minds. I got an email back saying they got it. But nothing since. Normally this wouldn't have an effect on me, but a man can only take so much for so long. Due to the lack of work and auditions in the past 4 months, I feel like I am in career limbo. The question of, 'do i work a job I love and make little to no money, or work a job that is tolerable and be financially stable?"
This is a question that EVERYONE deals with. I've had people tell me that they admire that I am going for my dream and not settling for just any job. Just like any dream job, it's sometimes next to impossible to achieve. Mine consists of being in the right place at the right time, 80% of the time. After giving it my hardest for 4 years, I feel like I don't really have much to show for it. Most people when they spend 4 years at the same job they receive multiple raises and promotions. That is a sense of accomplishment and reward for your hard work. Now imagine if you hadn't received even just a pat on the back for all the hustling and hard work you've done for 4 years. . . That's pretty much how I feel. As humans, God made us to encourage each other and give a helping hand to our fallen brother/sister. When there is a void in that area of our lives, it's hard somethings to find motivation to continue with the path that has been taken.
God says, "Just ask me, and I will begin to share with you the dreams I have for you life and for all of humanity. You can talk to me about the small stuff, or you can listen to me, and I will let you in on what I am thinking. It's going to be big!" It's hard to read that and hope that it happens tomorrow. Everything takes time, this I am aware, but my rent and bills can't be paid in prayer vouchers. So that's why it's hard sometimes to put my trust in God when my accomplishments are so small. I understand that small accomplishments sometimes are the pieces to the big picture, but I am also human so I struggle with every day problems. Plus, nothings easy when family lives so far away. Family is the best foundation we have, and when you only get that "home" feeling once, twice a year it can wear down on you after awhile. I have been blessed with the Watkins' and Geller families down here, they have provided me with fellowship and that good ol' family feeling. And that helps ten fold.
If you are at work day dreaming about a path that you should have taken, just remember that you didn't make a mistake by not doing it. Right now you are making a steady paycheck and working towards accomplishing that goal later in life. Make sure if you know someone you admire, tell them. Odds are they are really struggling and could really use some words of encouragement. They are going against the grain every day to make it a reality so they don't have to settle for just anything. Sadly enough it's easy to lose yourself in the process, because it's hard and negativity surrounds them. I've lost myself before and have come back. Although, it's harder each time than the last to bounce back. If you are reading this, then that means you support me, and I thank you.
Erwin McManus says, "Your circumstances do not determine your opportunities. Or if they do, it may well be quite the opposite than you expect. The more challenging your circumstances, the greater your opportunity to see God raise you to new levels of living."
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Burn Notice
Well, it's been a minute since I have written anything. A lot of it has been because I wasn't working that often and didn't really have much to write about that would be very interesting. I also took the time to get my mind again. I had to teach myself to not let my environment get the best of me again. That just doesn't happen over night. The last couple months I have been spending some much needed quality time with the Lord. My girlfriend has also been my biggest supporter and is someone who I look up to when it comes to staying focused and being positive.
During this time of pulling myself back together, I had one of those moments where you wake up one day and decide that you will not do what you're doing anymore. In my case, i got tired of calling my phone number every 10 mins for 10 hours of my day for work. I had reached the end of my rope of getting rejected and being on hold for hours in day. I was burned out. 4 years of doing this took it's toll. So I decided to get a call in service for me. I did my research and found one that was best for me and of whom I heard the most positive about. So for $65 a month, I pay them to do all the work for me. It has taken a lot of the weight off my shoulders. Although, what I have to find out, is that they don't find you work for every day out of the week,and you STILL have to do most of the work. I knew that this came with the territory, but it is one of those things where you got to do it for yourself so you can experience it.
I still feel like I'm staring at a wall in the way of my goal, and I got to figure out a way to get over it. So, this has come with a lot of time thinking about my next move and options. I have a lot of options, but one thing that is most important is to think about is my future. I want to get married, I want to have a family, and I want to be able to provide. I can't have those things by doing what I have been doing for the past 4 years. I have accomplished all that there is to accomplish doing background acting (become SAG eligible and network). I have thought about going back to some of my sales jobs and marketing. But that would mean I would never back into the industry, because you can't spend too much time away. So I have spent a lot of time applying to assistant, production, and internship jobs. Tomorrow I have an interview at Amp Radio. Amp Radio is a station in Los Angeles that plays popular pop music. Which is up my alley because that is hobby of mine. To get a part time job there would help me start from the bottom and work my way up. It would also provide with a steady paycheck and stability for my life that is always so random.
I will always work in entertainment. The trick is to find a steady job you know that can provide and have a way to move up the chain. After doing background work for so long you really start to notice that it's a bottomless hole. You get free food, some down time, and every once and awhile you meet a celebrity. If you like that lifestyle, then that's cool. But I would rather by that celebrity that meets you. So in order to do that, you got to jump back out of comfort, find a way over the wall and keep going. I might not ever become famous, but as long I can provide for my family and still go to a job I love, then I call that happiness. But you can't do it by waiting for it to fall in your lap. You also got to put all your faith in God and trust that he will provide. God knows the future, so we are safe in His hands.
"If there was something that I committed myself to, I don't think there is anything that could stop me." - Will Smith
During this time of pulling myself back together, I had one of those moments where you wake up one day and decide that you will not do what you're doing anymore. In my case, i got tired of calling my phone number every 10 mins for 10 hours of my day for work. I had reached the end of my rope of getting rejected and being on hold for hours in day. I was burned out. 4 years of doing this took it's toll. So I decided to get a call in service for me. I did my research and found one that was best for me and of whom I heard the most positive about. So for $65 a month, I pay them to do all the work for me. It has taken a lot of the weight off my shoulders. Although, what I have to find out, is that they don't find you work for every day out of the week,and you STILL have to do most of the work. I knew that this came with the territory, but it is one of those things where you got to do it for yourself so you can experience it.
I still feel like I'm staring at a wall in the way of my goal, and I got to figure out a way to get over it. So, this has come with a lot of time thinking about my next move and options. I have a lot of options, but one thing that is most important is to think about is my future. I want to get married, I want to have a family, and I want to be able to provide. I can't have those things by doing what I have been doing for the past 4 years. I have accomplished all that there is to accomplish doing background acting (become SAG eligible and network). I have thought about going back to some of my sales jobs and marketing. But that would mean I would never back into the industry, because you can't spend too much time away. So I have spent a lot of time applying to assistant, production, and internship jobs. Tomorrow I have an interview at Amp Radio. Amp Radio is a station in Los Angeles that plays popular pop music. Which is up my alley because that is hobby of mine. To get a part time job there would help me start from the bottom and work my way up. It would also provide with a steady paycheck and stability for my life that is always so random.
I will always work in entertainment. The trick is to find a steady job you know that can provide and have a way to move up the chain. After doing background work for so long you really start to notice that it's a bottomless hole. You get free food, some down time, and every once and awhile you meet a celebrity. If you like that lifestyle, then that's cool. But I would rather by that celebrity that meets you. So in order to do that, you got to jump back out of comfort, find a way over the wall and keep going. I might not ever become famous, but as long I can provide for my family and still go to a job I love, then I call that happiness. But you can't do it by waiting for it to fall in your lap. You also got to put all your faith in God and trust that he will provide. God knows the future, so we are safe in His hands.
"If there was something that I committed myself to, I don't think there is anything that could stop me." - Will Smith
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