The Confident Expectation

“Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” – Tim Robbins (Andy)

I think one of my top ten favorite movies of all time is "The Shawshank Redemption." It's about a guy named Andy (Tim Robbins), who is sent to Shawshank Prison for the murder of his wife and secret lover. He is very isolated and lonely at first, but realizes there is something deep inside your body, that people can't touch and get to....'HOPE'. Andy becomes friends with prison 'fixer' Red (Morgan Freeman), and Andy epitomizes why it is crucial to have dreams. His spirit and determination, leads us on a story filled with courage and desire. Hope is the heart of this movie. By definition, Hope means "to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment." In the bible God tells us it means "confident expectation." Hope is a firm assurance regarding things that are unclear and unknown.

Andy started out hopeless when he came into the prison, but over time he slowly found that to have patience, be still, and have hope he would be able to accomplish his escape and make it out on the other side. One of the most memorable scenes in the movie, is when we see Andy on the other side with his hands reaching for the sky as the rain comes pouring down on him. That is a feeling that we have all experienced at one point in time. It's that feeling of relief, the feeling of clarity that brings peace to your mind. That all the pain you have been through just melts away. You know what that feeling is? It's the holy spirit inside of you letting you know that God is good. This is the feeling we long for as humans. The problem is, is sometimes we forget that these are only checkpoints in life. That after we have received this blessing from God, life isn't over, and there are still problems yet to come. The good thing is, when we experience a time when God has shown us mercy, it fills us up with hope, and the idea is, is to put all your trust in God that he is in control.

“Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” – Morgan Freeman (Red)

I have always loved this quote. It means that sometimes even though we might understand the concept of Hope, and it brings us peace of mind for the time being, we don't always receive it in the time that is best for us. Therefore, making some people a little un-easy and they start to question their faith. When we ask for Hope, it goes hand in hand with faith. This co-insides with being patient. This is something I have struggled with. Not so much the Hope and Faith aspect, but being patient. And if I can't be patient, how could I expect to understand the meaning of Hope? Over the past couple months, this is something that I have put all my energy into fixing. Because if you can't learn patience, everything falls apart. To me, it is the most important characteristic we can have. Patience also helps with confidence. How can I become a man/husband/father without the focus that patience provides to help us stay grounded? Not being patient is a terrible habit to pick up, sadly I have seen the it's long term effects. That led to a LONG prayer of asking God for forgiveness of everything I could come up with. Lucky for me, God has shown me mercy and it is a habit I can break.

To learn patience, I had to first learn to be humble. I have learned how to become humble by sitting down and re-evaluating my life. Some of the things I thought I wanted(career) weren't really what I wanted, and the things I wanted had to be realized(wife/kids). This is how I came to the conclusion that I had to leave my 4 year routine of acting and change my whole career around. I had to get a job that stared me off at the bottom and work my way up. Some people have too much pride and don't start over again. They don't see the big picture. I knew that by starting off at the bottom means that I could only work my way up! There is no downside. This can be hard for some people to do, because they have spent so much time and energy working hard for something that they knew wasn't going anywhere, or even the best for them. To really humble yourself, you must surrender yourself to God and ask him to bestow in you the patience that is required. God only gives us enough strength to handle what is required today. Once you realize that fact, you can have peace of mind that tomorrow you will be filled back up with enough patience/strength to deal with tomorrow. Even though sometimes it might feel like we arn't filled back up, God is working behind the scenes.

It is through this that I am filled with Hope that God has the life I have always wanted. The certainty of this blessed future is guaranteed through the indwelling of the Spirit (Romans 8:23-25), Christ in us (Colossians 1:27), and the resurrection of Christ (Acts 2:26). Hope is produced by endurance through suffering (Romans 5:2-5). I pray for very specific requests every morning, noon, and night and I have to ask to be filled with that Hope. And I have give all my faith to Him that through Him, his will be done. Just like in the song "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles, it says, "Little darling It's been a long, cold, lonely winter. Little darling, It feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, and I say It's alright."

To Infinity and BEYOND!

"To infinity and beyond!"-Buzz Lightyear. For me that has been a movie quote that has stood the test of time. It was Thanksgiving 1995, I was in the 6th grade when that movie came out and set the bar for new film making and storytelling. The concept for the film was simple, and it related to every single person in the theater. It brought out the kid inside us. Even as a 6th grader, it took me back to the time when I used to make believe with Ninja Turtles and my race track. The reason why this movie is such a huge part of our culture is because of the lesson it teaches. The characters are lovable, the story is timeless, and the way it hits on emotional levels makes it popular.

Today, 16 years later after Toy Story was released, I still watch that movie(and it's sequels) and it reminds me of being a kid again. An unknown psychologist said, "children typically seem to feel happy, whereas grownups do not." In a nutshell he is saying we all start life happy, but somewhere over along the way to being an adult we lose that happiness. Where is it that we lose this innocence and simplicity that is childlike? To put it simply, children know how to enjoy the little things in life. To jump into puddles, climb a tree, or create something out of clay. Isaiah 64:8 says, "And yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand." How do we feel when we make something out of clay and after it has hardened, someone or something happens and it falls to the ground and breaks? If the item we made had significance, then we are saddened. That is how God feels when we stumble or try to run our lives the way we want it. He takes the clay figure that we have made on our own and breaks it so that He can start over again.

I know for me, the clay figure I shaped on my own started the day I stopped enjoying the little things in life. The little things are what makes us who we are. The little things are the detailed cravings in the clay. The little things are the things we fall in love with in a relationship. Even if they are for better or worse. The little things are what bring us back to neutral. If we let God do his job as the potter, we get to enjoy the little things in life. The things that make us feel like a kid again.

As humans, we ALL experience a time when we ignored what it was God was saying to us. Sometimes we do this out of rebellion. It's us against the world. And that idea is sometimes brought on by our peers or who we date. Because going against the grain does feel good sometimes. Because we feel a sense of freedom. A sense of doing it my way. In the song "My Way" by Frank Sinatra, his lyrics say, "Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. But I did it my way!" This song can be awesome when you have conquered all the elements. I admit that I have sang this song from the rooftops when when I have felt that all my hard work has paid off. The problem is, once I sang the song and got it off my chest, I forgot to realize that all that I have accomplished wasn't with the help of God. Or it was, and I didn't give him the credit. So EVERY TIME I claim I did it on my own, I was giving God the middle finger. And next thing I know, I'm laying face first in a pile of cow dung with the word jackass tattooed on my forehead.

We are called the children of God. So why don't we enjoy the little things in life that makes us feel like a kid again. Just like the feeling you get when Buzz Lightyear saves Woody from Sid and Buzz is actually flying. It's that feeling of knowing that all along, even though you knew he was a toy, you knew Buzz could fly. That is the feeling we should remind ourselves to have everyday. I had to remind myself of what that feeling is recently. I have gone back and looked at photos of when I used to be a camp counselor at bible camp, I look at the pictures that were given to me and painted by my 4 year old class, and I watched Toy Story. These things with the combination of devotions with God, and my new mentor, have reminded me that life is so much bigger than any bullshit I have EVER said that covered up the little things. I know for me, I was tried of finding myself face down covered in excrement. If we don't realize that doing it "our way" doesn't work, you can never grow.



My kids for the summer of 2005

Paid in Full

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him.

He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. He found a page that had a bookmarked. The verse Matthew 7:11 had been carefully underlined. It reads, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?. . .

It's a new year, I have a new job, so the blog will be completely different than this format you are used to. . . I hope those of you who do read will enjoy it, and for those who don't as much, I hope I can grab your attention once again.