The Empty Mayonnaise Jar

i read this from a post a friend of mine that shared the link of this short story. i thought it was awesome enough to share,  and we can all take something from it.  

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was
Full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full..

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put
The sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

Square into a Circle

i'm in a familiar place. the living room of my home in tahoe. i can hear my mother's voice, but can't make out what it is she's saying. the air feels warm and i'm laying on a blanket. my hand clings to a stuffed bunny rabbit and i roll over. i see my baby brother wearing one of those footed pajamas for he is an infant. i feel safe. there's a smell of food cooking in the kitchen, but i can't put my finger on what it is. all i feel is this overwhelming feeling of comfort.

BANG! my eyes open but all i see is darkness and i am freezing. i hear a voice ask if i'm hungry. i quickly remember when i am. my shirt was covering my eyes from the bright lights above. i reply, "YES", and i hear a plate slide onto a tiny ledge. i take the shirt off my face and reveal my reality. i was in cell block A of the santa monica police station. i put my shirt back on to bring back my body heat i had lost from the quick nap i had. with no clocks or windows, it is uncertain as to how long i feel asleep. odds are it wasn't as long as i had hoped. i grab my plate of two pancakes, apple, slice of wheat bread, and carton of milk and start to add substance to my empty stomach. once finished i place the empty plate back on the ledge and lay my head back down apon my laceless shoes. to prevent people from harming themselves in a cell, they take out the laces of your shoes. because i had no pillow, i stacked my shoes to add some lift for my head. my dream of being in my living room with my family seemed so suddenly distant. this memory stems from a home video i have seen before. Questions start to go through my head a mile a minute. "how could you be such an idiot?" "where did i go wrong?" "what were you thinking?" I try to trace back to a time where i might have started to show signs of drifting. what goes through my head next are all the names of people i know that have been in jail before me.



it's a constant whirlwind of anxiety and panic that goes through your mind/body/soul. anxiety and panic are affects that alcohol can have on a man. i sit upward to try and calm myself down. i stare down at the seat-less toilet that sits in front of me. i have been through anxiety and panic attacks before, so i try to apply what i learned from the last tragic event to this one. then it hits me. i get down on my knees and pray. and ask God to explain to me where my judgment went wrong. the obvious is pointed out. don't drink and drive. ok. what else. what brought me to make such a dumb decision?

my mind goes back to the night before. back in april i had picked up a second job through my boss at the radio station. his brother in law owns this business called "the beach barcycle." it is a 16 person pub crawl up and down the beach cities. the people peddle, i steer it, and have the brake. i had gotten off my last shift of the night. my clients had been some folks my age and they wanted to give me a tip for my services. they didn't have any cash, so they offered to take me out after my shift and buy me drinks to compensate for not tipping me. they were fun guys, cute girls, and i accepted their offer. we went from bar to bar enjoying eachother's company and drinks were coming and going. at one bar there was a Beatles cover band and eventually we ended up at this irish pub.

remembering that i had parked in a meter spot before my shift, i knew that my time had started to run out. last call was given, so i said goodbye to everyone, and went to my car. i was a little past the time, but no ticket. knowing that i had to work in the morning, i figured i would sleep in my car and drive there in the morning. but i didn't want a ticket. there is a neighborhood directly behind the street i was parked on. so i figured i would go park in front of a house. after driving a few blocks, i felt like i was somewhat safe to drive home and sleep in my own bed. so i take a dimly lit street a little too sharp and knocked out a corner of a fence. i get out of the car. check the damage. no bueno. to make room for other cars that might come down the street, i move my car to the a safe parking space on the next street.

as i walk back to the scene of the crime, i see red and blue lights flash around in the sky. i show up. the cops ask me who i am. i tell them i am the guy who hit the fence. they ask if i had been drinking. knowing that telling the truth could help me in court, i reply, "yes". after a series of tests, and blowing into the breathalyzer, they put me in hand cuffs and into the back of the cop car i went. i inform them of where my car is and explained why i moved it. they said it's not often someone returns to the scene of the crime and actually tells the truth. i told them that i am a man with nothing to lose and nothing to hide. no one was looking for me that night. no one is waiting for me to come home. i don't have a pet that is of concern. no close family in the city. this was my reality check. so again, what brought me to make such a dumb decision? it was a accumulation of these realities. i had let myself slip into this gnarly lifestyle of no consequence. at the end of the day, there is no human to hold me accountable for my actions. only God can hold me accountable. are all my actions out of line or irresponsible? no. what happens is, when you live by yourself and you are single, you gravitate towards others in your same position. because they can relate. you meet new people on a constant basis. some are good influences, others aren't.  

it's been 5 months since my incident, and has this been a tough pill to swallow? absolutely. toughest lesson i've ever had to learn. this was never a matter of drinking. it was a matter of  God putting me back in check. i thought that by the time i would be 29 i would have already been married, steady career, and not be living in the backyard of someone's home making minimum wage. but this is my reality. the greatest realization i have come to through all this, is, ever since i moved to california 10 years ago, i have tried to fit a square into a circle. there's no time table to life. and i haven't done anything to set me back. everything i have done has been apart of God's plan. so for those of you who have maybe judged me for my actions, or my decisions, you should probably check your self before you wreck yourself. because i'm not the first person to make this mistake, and i'm definitely not the last. i may not have it all together. but one thing is for sure, i will never look back on my life and think i should have done things differently.  the way it feels to understand and incorporate this sort of acceptance, is priceless. 

"It's your choice. You can either count your blessings or recount your disappointments." - Jim Gallery

Fast Food Fridays - Bacon & Bleu Burger

yes, i eat fast food. yes, i enjoy some of it. 60% is because of how cheap it is and 40% is because i enjoy it. judge me. it has been a nemesis of mine for as long as i could remember. and as much as i would like to dine at some of the more awesome spots, it's just not in the cards or my wallet. BUT the wallet issue a personal issue, one that i blame myself for the career path i chose, and therefore have no room to complain about, that would just make me a hypocrite among other things. without further ado, i claim friday to be fast food fridays. there is absolutely no gain you take from this other than to help kill time during your day. and possibly make you dumber from reading this or causing you actually go out and get fast food. but if you live in cities other than los angeles, your pick of the litter is a thousand times better. for we are a city on the run and shitty public transportation. so fast food is what a lot of us do. or rather what folks in my line of work do. our hours are all over the place and it's hard to find time to actually cook something when you're rolling home around 2am.

for this first segment of fast food friday, i've gone with a burger that isn't on a menu at the moment, but it was freaking awesome when it was. i'm talking about the bacon and bleu burger at Wendy's. I'm a big Wendy's fan personally. because they have great products and for some reason i don't feel as guilty after i demolish one of their burgers.

it's your typical burger with caramelized onions, applewood smoked bacon, creamy steakhouse spread, and blue cheese. being that i am HUGE blue cheese fan on a burger, this was right up my alley. i also enjoy a steakhouse spread. it's a nice change up from mayo, mustard, or even ketchup ( but there will never be a good substitute for ketchup, let's be honest ) because i didn't have to go to a sit down restaurant and then proceed to pay $10 for it. it was fast, delicious, and who doesn't like applewood bacon? why they took this away, i will never know, but i await for it's arrival back to the mix. to make matters worse, OR for your benefit, here are the nutrition facts:

is this really surprising? not really. we've all seen 'super size me' and although it was a movie full of great facts, informational to watch, and entertaining, that didn't really stop too many americans from saving some bucks and getting fast food from time to time. i'm guilty as charged. i'll go hammertime if i see a new idea brought to the fast food table. so go do yourselves a favor this weekend and be a little dirty. find yourself a bacon blue cheeseburger somewhere, sit down and eat it prison style. with elbows out, back hunched over, to keep others away from the nom session you are about to partake in. no judgement coming from this guy. if you invite, i'll be there so you don't feel as weird. 

Get Him to the Nokia

6:03pm

i push the redial option on my iphone for the third time trying to get a hold of a guy named mike. as my call goes straight to voice mail once more, the smell of cinnabon and auntie anne's pretzels invade my nostrils. but this was no time to snack on those delicious treats. i was in the middle of rounding up the artist lloyd and his entourage from the culver city westfiield shopping mall. amp radio had booked lloyd to preform our mtv video music awards concert at club nokia that evening. i was assigned to make sure that he got to the venue on time for his performance at 8pm. how did i end up in a mall with less than 2 hours before curtain call? i was asking myself the same question.

4:00pm

i arrive at the station and get my paperwork / instructions for my task, meanwhile the rest of my co-workers were getting the venue ready for our concert that was to be held that evening. i am given the phone number to mike ( not his real name ), lloyd's manager, to call him and get further instruction. i am told to drive to the marriott at lax and meet up behind the hotel at the tour bus. i grab the car keys, directions to the hotel, and off i went. once i arrived, it wasn't hard to find the giant tour bus parked in the back. the first part of my task was to pick them up, and take them to their sound check at club nokia.

4:35pm

we are now a little behind schedule. my boss asks where i am. sound check is at 5pm. i had everyone in the vehicle ready to go but our main performer. in typical fashion, he was just taking his time. after explaining to his manager that in los angeles we are traffic's bitch, and we need to roll, he was able to get lloyd into the car and we were off.

5:10pm

we arrive. to save time, pull up to the loading zone outside of L.A. Live right in front of this restaurant called 'the farm'.  my co-worker was out front ready to escort them upstairs to the venue for sound check. to avoid a traffic ticket, i drive in circles around L.A. Live. as i make way around the block, i get stuck behind some cars stuck at a red light by the movie theater. i look over to my right, and see this homeless man asking to wash my window. i signal him to leave, but he proceeds to do it anyway. the light turns green, and the cars go, an he is still washing my window. a few cars honk, and the bum backs away from the car and goes to the sidewalk. my boss calls me. he explains to me that they are coming back downstairs and that i need to take them back to their hotel so they can change clothes, get some things in order, and need to be back to the venue by 7:45pm so they can be on-stage for their 8pm start time. i tell him i understand, i pull back up to where i dropped them off, and we go back en route to the hotel.

5:30pm

we weren't in the car for more than 2 minutes before the drummer of the band says that he needs to go the store "lids" to buy a new hat for tonight's performance. that is followed by lloyd saying that he needs a new shirt so he can look 'fresh to death'. i look to the digital clock on the dashboard, and think of the closest mall to their hotel. the culver city westfield comes to mind. for i had sat on the 405 freeway countless times looking at their billboards of promoting products that i don't need but still buy. i let them know where we're headed and we're off. i then hear the sound of a wrapper being crumpled up followed by the question of whether or not i would like a brownie. without thinking i accept the offer and was passed a square. but then it hits me. this is not just your average brownie. for it had that certain stank to it. i respectfully hand it off to the manager in the front seat and inform him that i am on the clock and cannot partake in the baked good. no harm, no foul. with a song 'chin check' by NWA on blast we head over to the mall.

5:50pm

i pull into a parking space, and with a blink of an eye everyone is out of the car. mike stands back with me and we proceed to follow them inside the mall. due to the time of day, there was a lot of foot traffic. with every passing female, the entourage made sure to say hello and proceed with a little more information than some would like. some girls took a liking to it, and others were offended. we make our way to lids. my boss calls, the store was noisy so i walked out to continue my conversation. i inform him that we are at the mall and will be back in time. i hang up the phone, turn around, and everyone is gone. i call mike, no answer. straight to voice mail. the signal in this area is known for being awful. so i stand there in a busy mall feeling like a baby sitter that lost the kid she was assigned to watch. this is where a little anxiety kicks in.

6:15pm

mike calls back. he has the drummer and keyboard player, but not lloyd. we meet up by a kiosk selling cell phone covers. mike finally gets ahold of lloyd and informs me he's on his way. i look over and the drummer had started up a conversation with the cute girl working the kiosk. from the body language toward eachother, i could tell that he had one goal in mind. lloyd shows up, and we take off.

6:50pm

we arrive back to the tour bus and they all get out. everyone gets on the bus, and the manager heads up to the hotel to grab something from his room. by this point in time, my cell phone battery had gotten down to 10%. all the usage from the day had finally taken it's toll. i know that i'll need more than 10% to last the duration of my shift to keep in contact with my boss and co-workers. i keep a close eye on the digital clock on the dashboard and have the a/c running in the car as i wait.

7:10pm

i still hadn't heard a peep from the manager or seen anyone leave the bus. getting a little nervous, i decide to call mike and tell him that we need to leave to make it on time. next thing i know, my battery is at 5%. figuring that there is probably an iPhone charger on the bus, i go and knock on the door. i am welcomed by one of the biggest dudes i have ever seen. looking down at me, without blinking, he immediately shuts the door on me. within seconds the drummer opens the door and says they were 'fuckin' with me' and lets me inside. i said i needed to plug in my phone and that we needed to leave as soon as mike comes down. in the shuffle to find a charger, paraphernalia of all types were being moved around. a think layer of smoke also lingered in the air. 'FOUND ONE!' i hear this woman say, it was under a stack of playboy magazines and one massive bag of weed. the woman passes me the charger, and she looks awfully familiar, but can't put my finger on it. so i went ahead and asked her where she worked to maybe get a clue. she told me that she worked at one of the beer stands at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater.

FLASHBACK! a couple nights back i had attended a lil wayne concert at that venue and she had served me beer for the duration of that night. lloyd was the opening act for that particular concert.

all by damned, i say under my breath. my guess is that somehow she had crossed paths with someone from the entourage that evening and she did something right in order to be on that tour bus tonight. i informed her that she had served me drinks at the concert a few nights back. and once everyone heard i was at that concert it was like i had become a member of the family. a seat was offered, among other things that you would only see in a rap music video ( which i declined because i didn't want to lose my job ). they asked me about my opinion of what i thought of their set list and how it panned out. so, i gave them my two cents and that proceeded until mike showed up.

7:30pm

mike finally comes to the bus, and we head out to the car. and off to the venue we went. with a few beads of sweat dripping off my brow from being nervous, i wipe them away and stay focused. i know that i can get them to club nokia by curtain call. it wasn't the ideal time my boss wanted me back, but it was the best i could offer considering that trying to get this group of people together was like herding cats. with the song "natural born killaz" by Ice Cube just bumping through the speakers i use the carpool lane and a few back streets trying to get to L.A. Live. as i made my way around the northeast corner by the movie theater i could see the entrance to the underground parking structure of where i needed to go. looking ahead to find a route to get around, what do i see, but that same homeless man starting his walk toward a car, two cars ahead of me. knowing he's going to distract that driver, and cause a backup, i change lanes, pass the car with the window washing bum, and cut right back into my lane, and go down into the parking structure. i find the industrial elevator that goes to the backstage area of the club and pull up. a co-woker is there there to take them up.

7:55pm

i park the car, and head upstairs. and at 8:02pm lloyd goes on stage and preforms his set to a crowd of excited radio listeners that had won tickets. i go to the green room after the performance to check in because i still needed to get them back to their hotel. i am greeted with some catered food and offered a seat by the big man that had previously shut the tour bus door on me earlier. he told me that my driving skills were not bad for a 'craker'. we fist bumped and went to town on the best chicken wings i've ever had. next thing i know, we're bro'ing out over how awesome the '8 mile' soundtrack is. after lloyd did some interviews for our station, i got them back together and headed back to the car. once we got in, the drummer informed me that we needed to make a stop and pick someone up. i rolled up to this gas station off the 405 freeway and i see this girl walk up to the car to get in. it was the cell phone cover kiosk girl from the mall! apparently the drummer got her number earlier and invited her to the after party. she gets in the car and i proceed to the hotel. everyone gets out, i'm thanked by everyone and get a big hug from the big dude. i was invited up to the after party, but i declined because i had my own after party to attend to with my work family. as much fun as i'm sure that would have been, there's nothing like celebrating with your co-workers after an event that is successful. and i'll tell ya what. that beer had never tasted so good after that day.

No Introduction: Grilled Cheese and Butternut Squash Soup

alright, so it's that time of day where you've been thinking about what you're going to do for dinner tonight. or maybe even what you're going to nom on this weekend. from what i can see out my window, it's cloudy fall awesome weather. which makes people like myself not in the mood to create some crazy concoction of a meal. so i'm going to make a suggestion. i don't care if you do it tonight, this weekend, next month, or never. either way you're reading this and waiting for me to get to the point. here's something easy to make, and won't take much time or clean up:

Grilled Cheese and Butternut Squash Soup. why butternut squash soup instead of tomato? because butternut squash is in season and way better than tomato. plus it's more fun to say butternut than tomato. not a fan? i don't really care. below i have made a list of different cheeses, breads, and additional things to add to make whatever grilled cheese sounds good for the moment. because let's be honest, depending on your mood when you read this, the combination will be different. for all i know you're drunk right now from happy hour and could go for adding bacon to your grilled cheese over using a slice of turkey. or the combination of both sounds bomb dot com. either way. go nuts! it's a fall evening tonight, and no one wants to be productive or really cook something too hard. especially if you're getting around to reading this late tonight and you're starving after coming home from drinking colorful shots and your favorite taco stand packed up early. . . they can be so selfish sometimes.

Either way, below are my suggestions to help guide those of you who need someone to still hold their hand. also, adding pecans or your favorite nut ( that's what she said ) to the butternut squash soup is a nice touch. hopefully i have been somewhat of a service. if not, i'm sorry you won't get the last 5 minutes of your life back that you used to read this. but at least you were productive. you could have been out having a staring contest with a billy goat or listening to a debate about who's cooler: the dominos pizza noid or spuds mckenzie. for which there is no debate because they are of equal righteousness.


Cheese:

-Cheddar
-Colby-Jack
-Blue Cheese
-Gouda
-Fetta
-Brie
-Monterey Jack
-Mozzarella
-American
-White American
-Provolone
-Cream Cheese ( you don't know until you try )
-Colby
-Havarti
-Pepperjack

Bread:

-Sourdough
-White
-Wheat
-Rustic Italian
-Hoagie roll
-Whatever you got in the kitchen. You could have peta bread for all I know.

EXTRA:

-bacon
-tomato
-caramelized onions. ( sounds fancy, but easy to make if you can focus )
-sliced meats ( ham, turkey )
-apple slices ( sounds bizarre, but with the right combination it works. haters )
-bacon ( it's so good, you mention it twice )
-spinach 

DRANKS:

- you know what you like. i can't judge or suggest here. pumpkin ale perhaps? 2 buck chuck? #dowhatyouwant

I'm With You

the smell of burnt coffee lingers in the air as i continue to clean up cookie crumbles and leftover cheese and crackers from the table. the only thing left to wipe up the table with is a single sheet of paper towel that hadn't been used. the sugar packet that helped hold up a leg of the table slips out leaving the table to wobble back and forth as i clean. i'm done. the door to the church recreation room opens with a creaking sound and a woman in her late 20's comes through the door. she asks for a cell phone to make a call for a taxi. i hand her my phone, and offer her what is left of the snacks on the table. happily, but a little hesitant, she accepts, grabs a plastic cup and fills it up for the road. she thanks me and walks outside. i say goodbye to everyone still interacting in the room, put on my headphones and walk out the door. it's july and there is a random rain storm that had accumulated during the duration of my time inside. thinking ahead, i wore a sweatshirt before i left home. as i walk away from the church, i notice the woman taking shelter under the overhang of  the building. i asked her if she needed any help getting to where she was trying to go. there was a pause as she lit her cigarette, but then she shook her head. noticing that she probably had a rough evening, i asked her she needed someone to talk to. she replied with, "that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week." i told her i had nothing but time, and sat down next to her.

considering it was july, the rain that was falling was colder than usual that night. "everything is a mess" she says. what followed was a story of addiction, failed relationship, and emptiness. she had just been kicked out of her boyfriend's apartment because she ran out of cocaine and refused to get more. she then proceeds to show me a zip-lock bag from her purse with some coke left in it. i asked her why she lied to her boyfriend. she said it was because she wanted to make a change in her life. she wanted to be kicked out of his apartment. if she she had showed her boyfriend that she had more coke left, then she wouldn't be sitting on the stoop of a church on a thrursday night with me waiting for a cab. this was her turning point. the cab she called was going to take her to her parents house, to be in a safe place. although, the relationship between her and her parents was to be determined. the cab pulled up, she gave me a huge hug, and she got in the car. but right before the cab took off, i see the cab window go down and she tells me "thank you. thank you for your listening ear, and giving your time to a stranger who needed a friend."

the cab drives off, my headphones go on. i choose the 'shuffle' option on my ipod and the song 'i'm with you' by avril lavigne comes on ( that's right, i have that on my ipod ). Here are some lyrics from that song:

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone.

as i'm walking home listening to this song, i couldn't help but feel a connection to it. the odds of this tune coming up on my ipod from the shuffle option was no coincidence.  on that walk home it really help put some things into perspective for me. about 7 weeks earlier i had moved to los angeles from the valley to be closer to work. so on my walk back home i passed everything from the homeless, to people on a date holding hands, and empty beer cans that line the gutter. i pass restaurant windows with people with smiling faces and families gathering for a late dinner. with only assumptions as to what i saw from glancing as i walk by, it was like looking through windows of the past 28 years of my life. all things i could relate too. being on a date, eating with family, to relating to the homeless ( story for another time ). i don't have many nights of reflection that i can recall in my life, but this night was one of them. for i wasn't walking home from just giving a stranger my time. it wasn't a bible study. it wasn't a thursday night church service. it was an AA Meeting. meeting number 17 out of 30 that i was ordered by the court back in may. for i was arrested for drinking and driving. i haven't been able to share my experiences until now because the court process is now finished. it has been a life changing experience these past couple months. the night i was arrested, i will always consider it the night my life was saved, and more importantly, others. it's a long story of how it happened, but i'll save that for another time. the main issue is that it happened, i learned from my mistake, and i am accepting my punishment.

for the i know the plans i have for you, says the lord. plans for good, and not for evil. to give you a future and a hope.