This is a video I made to show the two different sides that I struggle with while trying accomplishing being an actor. One side is the guy who sits and watches the world pass by him. He waits for that one phone call that will fix all his problems. The other side is a guy who stays focused and works hard. He sends out head shots, goes to auditions, and works on his craft. The best therapy for me is to express what I am feeling and put it in the form of a video. It helps me stay in the creative mind space. So hope you all enjoy, and please let me know what you think. It looks better if you watch it smaller than making it "fit to screen." But for those of you with "special eyes" make it bigger.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Raging Bull
Last week I started my commercial acting class level 3 with casting director Chris Game. I took level 1 last summer and level 2 in the fall. So I was happy to go to the next level and learn more of what I can do better and clean up a few loose ends. Chris has gotten me a table read for a film, an brought me in for two separate film auditions. So taking his class again shows him that I show commitment and take his word serious. I come to find out last night that he cast Jason Segel in a small film 10 years ago. I had mentioned to him that I am a regular on 'How I Met Your Mother' and have met him on a couple different occasions. So that sparked up a conversation, and when the show comes back in a couple weeks, when I get an opportunity, mention to Jason about Chris and see if can make some networking come together.
Last Friday Chris had asked me to come in and audition for a short film. It was for a part that was a white trash type of character. It was down in Santa Monica, which isn't a bad drive, but what I thought was going to be a quick process, turned into me sitting around for over an hour and a half. Which put me on the 405 HWY at 4pm on a FRIDAY. But at least I got an audition and kept my mind fresh.
The other day, as I was writing my other blog, I had gotten a call from my agency for a callback for the show 'Californication.' Which was a HUGE blessing, because not only did it provide me with work, but I didn't have to spend my day on the phone looking for work. Plus I had a few friends working on it that day too which helped. Although, I did have a run in with my favorite guy, who I like to refer as 'the dude.' The dude, is this guy I see more than I would like. He always asking me about how to get SAG vouchers and wonders why his agent isn't doing it for him. After an hour of this, I had to tell the guy what time it was. I told him that he needed to accept the fact that it's a process and can't put all his faith in an agent who is just looking for quantity and not quality for his clients. I didn't mean to come off as a dick, but I hear these conversations everyday, and people are looking for instant gratification when it comes to this job.
The reason people expect instant gratification is because there are stories, very few, of actors who go to one audition, get the part, and start working right off the bat. When they come in with that mind set, and get rejected a couple times, their confidence is shot to hell. Which is great for me, because it cleans out the riff raft. But on the flip side when those people go away, and whole new batch fills in their spots. That's the part that is mentally draining is hearing the negativity. But that's what an iPod is for right?
"The talent is in the choices." - Robert de Niro
Last Friday Chris had asked me to come in and audition for a short film. It was for a part that was a white trash type of character. It was down in Santa Monica, which isn't a bad drive, but what I thought was going to be a quick process, turned into me sitting around for over an hour and a half. Which put me on the 405 HWY at 4pm on a FRIDAY. But at least I got an audition and kept my mind fresh.
The other day, as I was writing my other blog, I had gotten a call from my agency for a callback for the show 'Californication.' Which was a HUGE blessing, because not only did it provide me with work, but I didn't have to spend my day on the phone looking for work. Plus I had a few friends working on it that day too which helped. Although, I did have a run in with my favorite guy, who I like to refer as 'the dude.' The dude, is this guy I see more than I would like. He always asking me about how to get SAG vouchers and wonders why his agent isn't doing it for him. After an hour of this, I had to tell the guy what time it was. I told him that he needed to accept the fact that it's a process and can't put all his faith in an agent who is just looking for quantity and not quality for his clients. I didn't mean to come off as a dick, but I hear these conversations everyday, and people are looking for instant gratification when it comes to this job.
The reason people expect instant gratification is because there are stories, very few, of actors who go to one audition, get the part, and start working right off the bat. When they come in with that mind set, and get rejected a couple times, their confidence is shot to hell. Which is great for me, because it cleans out the riff raft. But on the flip side when those people go away, and whole new batch fills in their spots. That's the part that is mentally draining is hearing the negativity. But that's what an iPod is for right?
"The talent is in the choices." - Robert de Niro
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Shadow of the Day
It's been a little while since I have written anything, and that is due in part to the lack of work I have over the last 2 weeks. Mid June til the first of August is DEAD for work. Which sounds awesome because it's the summer time and I have some free time to enjoy it. The fact of the matter is, I'm almost 27 years old and have bills to pay and a future to plan. I deal with anxiety attacks and having down time sometimes triggers it. Anxiety never really helps with my OCD either. So the last couple weeks have been a little rough for me. Not only does doing background work provide for me financially, but it also provides me with social interaction and fellowship. One of the things that God has tried to make to clear to us is that we must but aside time for fellowship. Erwin McManus says; "The real measure of our lives will not be all the things we obtain or all the goals we achieve or all the successes we acquire. Real success will be the relationships we have built, the lives we have touched, the people we have loved and who have loved us and invested in us."
And as most of you know, I am a socialite and not having fellowship allows my mind to wonder and get me thinking of things that either aren't actually true or even happening. So hiatus is a very tough time for me. Luckily I have been blessed with some little trips with friends and dinners to keep me from really going crazy.
So I have been doing a lot thinking lately about what the next step I will take. I've been doing background for 4 years and have had some great stories and memories, but I feel little or no sense of accomplishment. For 4 years, every weekday, I have called the same phone # every 10 minutes for 8 hours looking for work for the previous day. When I did the math it came out to this: 144 minutes a day. 37,440 minutes a year. 149,760 minutes over the coarse of 4 years. I average 3 minutes on the phone each time I call every 10 minutes. 149,760 MINUTES?! Are you kidding me? That's not including the amount of time I am on hold when I find a job that fits me, not knowing if I will get the job and have to go back to calling. But like I've said, there are call-in services that you can pay to do it for you, but you STILL have do call yourself because they don't guarantee they will get you the work.
So what do I do? Personally I feel like God is telling me that my run of doing background work FULL TIME has reached it's end. What I mean by this is; I have 4 years of connections I have made with people in the industry. I have 4 years of knowledge of how it works and what is expected. So now it's time to apply that knowledge and contacts. I still do background work, but just less of it. I am confident in my social skills and creativity that I can stop using background as a crutch. I once read that through Christ we have the freedom to let go. So I am putting my trust in God more now than I have in the past with my career. "Once we can release our grip on any attitude that keeps us from following Christ, we find true freedom in letting go." David McCasland.
And as most of you know, I am a socialite and not having fellowship allows my mind to wonder and get me thinking of things that either aren't actually true or even happening. So hiatus is a very tough time for me. Luckily I have been blessed with some little trips with friends and dinners to keep me from really going crazy.
So I have been doing a lot thinking lately about what the next step I will take. I've been doing background for 4 years and have had some great stories and memories, but I feel little or no sense of accomplishment. For 4 years, every weekday, I have called the same phone # every 10 minutes for 8 hours looking for work for the previous day. When I did the math it came out to this: 144 minutes a day. 37,440 minutes a year. 149,760 minutes over the coarse of 4 years. I average 3 minutes on the phone each time I call every 10 minutes. 149,760 MINUTES?! Are you kidding me? That's not including the amount of time I am on hold when I find a job that fits me, not knowing if I will get the job and have to go back to calling. But like I've said, there are call-in services that you can pay to do it for you, but you STILL have do call yourself because they don't guarantee they will get you the work.
So what do I do? Personally I feel like God is telling me that my run of doing background work FULL TIME has reached it's end. What I mean by this is; I have 4 years of connections I have made with people in the industry. I have 4 years of knowledge of how it works and what is expected. So now it's time to apply that knowledge and contacts. I still do background work, but just less of it. I am confident in my social skills and creativity that I can stop using background as a crutch. I once read that through Christ we have the freedom to let go. So I am putting my trust in God more now than I have in the past with my career. "Once we can release our grip on any attitude that keeps us from following Christ, we find true freedom in letting go." David McCasland.
Friday, June 25, 2010
How the West was Won
Another week down, and another week closer to reaching my goal. I didn't have any auditions, call backs, or meet anyone cool. But I did have a full week of work and I am still alive to see another day to get an audition, get a call back, and meet the right people. It has been one of those weeks where when it rains it pours. Every day that I worked went late into the night and started at an odd time of the day to where you gotta sit in a lot of traffic or you can't get any errands done because you get done so late at night.
I worked on the show HOUSE the other day and they were on location in Redondo Beach. Which is about 30 miles from my home, so a 60 mile round trip. This was inconvenient in more ways than one. First of all when I booked myself they didn't tell me it was in Redondo. If I had known, I would have done another show. Second of all my call time was 11 am. Which doesn't sound too bad, but you gotta think: 30 miles = 45 mins of travel in no traffic. 30 miles to arrive at 11am = leave at 9:30 or earlier. I was happy to get work, so I took it. Except on this day I made a rookie mistake. I didn't pay too much attention to the street signs and overshot an important street by 3 MIILES!!! What a DOPE! And I didn't fill up my gas tank the day before when I knew I should have. So once I realized I went too far, I was running late and had to stop to get gas. It was the first time I was late in 4 years.
This job provides with enough stress that the last you need is a call from the agency asking you why you're late to a 11am call time. Although, my day did provide me with entertainment. As I was sitting in my chair reading my book, there was a cute girl sitting across from me and this guy had come over to make conversation. I thought to myself, "alright, this should be good." He started out pretty good, but then he started to slip. She was reading 'Anything' by Ernest Hemingway and he thought he should pull the "Twilight" card and say the phrase "i'm team Jacob." Which was AWESOME. Because I know his thought process went like this: She's reading a book, which means she's read Twilight, and that's popular, chicks like Twilight, I should say something witty/funny, then BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE. She didn't even give him a sympathy laugh, just a polite way to letting him know she was enjoying her book and would like to be left alone. BURN! He left with his tail in between his legs. She shook her head and I said "Team Jacob huh? Team Edward is way cooler." We had a good laugh and went back to reading.
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." - John Wayne
I worked on the show HOUSE the other day and they were on location in Redondo Beach. Which is about 30 miles from my home, so a 60 mile round trip. This was inconvenient in more ways than one. First of all when I booked myself they didn't tell me it was in Redondo. If I had known, I would have done another show. Second of all my call time was 11 am. Which doesn't sound too bad, but you gotta think: 30 miles = 45 mins of travel in no traffic. 30 miles to arrive at 11am = leave at 9:30 or earlier. I was happy to get work, so I took it. Except on this day I made a rookie mistake. I didn't pay too much attention to the street signs and overshot an important street by 3 MIILES!!! What a DOPE! And I didn't fill up my gas tank the day before when I knew I should have. So once I realized I went too far, I was running late and had to stop to get gas. It was the first time I was late in 4 years.
This job provides with enough stress that the last you need is a call from the agency asking you why you're late to a 11am call time. Although, my day did provide me with entertainment. As I was sitting in my chair reading my book, there was a cute girl sitting across from me and this guy had come over to make conversation. I thought to myself, "alright, this should be good." He started out pretty good, but then he started to slip. She was reading 'Anything' by Ernest Hemingway and he thought he should pull the "Twilight" card and say the phrase "i'm team Jacob." Which was AWESOME. Because I know his thought process went like this: She's reading a book, which means she's read Twilight, and that's popular, chicks like Twilight, I should say something witty/funny, then BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE. She didn't even give him a sympathy laugh, just a polite way to letting him know she was enjoying her book and would like to be left alone. BURN! He left with his tail in between his legs. She shook her head and I said "Team Jacob huh? Team Edward is way cooler." We had a good laugh and went back to reading.
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." - John Wayne
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Lean on Me
Last Friday was my last day on the set of the feature film. It was a fun day for the most part until I found out that my other lines were cut and learned that I might not be getting paid. So I asked a producer to fill out my tax forms because I hadn't done so yet and I didn't want to mail it to them since I was on set with them. I was told that because they spent a lot of their money on a better camera, film, and better location that a lot of the actors would not get paid. I had them repeat it so I knew I wasn't hearing things. They went on to tell me actors that will be paid depending on how many days they were on set. Since some of my scenes were cut and some of my lines were given away, my week of work went down to 2 days. Talk about literally "acting for food."
So, I have an email to write to another producer. I'm not really so mad, as I am disappointed. I would have done the production regardless, but I was told I would be getting paid. In doing so, I turned down other paid jobs to do it. The upside to all this is, I do get a credit for my resume and met some people that could use me in their next production. It wasn't a waste of time, just kinda planned on paying my rent this month. Like I've said time and time again, it's part of the game, and this is just how this industry goes. It's over now, I filmed my scenes, got a credit, met good people, had a full stomach at the end of the day. Time to move on and stay on top of getting work and moving forward.
I worked on the show 'Entourage' yesterday. I try to dodge working this show for a couple reasons. The wardrobe people are really anal about the look of the show. So it takes you about an hour to get that all settled. Next you are surrounded by probably the most uptight women you will cross. Although they are beautiful, don't let this fool you. They are under the impression that if they bang one of the cast members it will be smooth sailing from here on out. Not the case, but they are right about one thing. If they are attracted enough, then yes, you will be noticed and be shown the back room. But I highly doubt they will be doing any of the work. To top it all off, you will be flagged and will not be able to work that show again. Why? Because you're used goods. So pick up your dignity ladies and stick with the game, or you can go back to answering phones at Macaroni Grill.
"Acting means living, it's all I do and all I'm good at. If I weren't getting paid well, I would still be acting in a small troupe somewhere. As you grow in this business, you learn how to do more with less." - Morgan Freeman
So, I have an email to write to another producer. I'm not really so mad, as I am disappointed. I would have done the production regardless, but I was told I would be getting paid. In doing so, I turned down other paid jobs to do it. The upside to all this is, I do get a credit for my resume and met some people that could use me in their next production. It wasn't a waste of time, just kinda planned on paying my rent this month. Like I've said time and time again, it's part of the game, and this is just how this industry goes. It's over now, I filmed my scenes, got a credit, met good people, had a full stomach at the end of the day. Time to move on and stay on top of getting work and moving forward.
I worked on the show 'Entourage' yesterday. I try to dodge working this show for a couple reasons. The wardrobe people are really anal about the look of the show. So it takes you about an hour to get that all settled. Next you are surrounded by probably the most uptight women you will cross. Although they are beautiful, don't let this fool you. They are under the impression that if they bang one of the cast members it will be smooth sailing from here on out. Not the case, but they are right about one thing. If they are attracted enough, then yes, you will be noticed and be shown the back room. But I highly doubt they will be doing any of the work. To top it all off, you will be flagged and will not be able to work that show again. Why? Because you're used goods. So pick up your dignity ladies and stick with the game, or you can go back to answering phones at Macaroni Grill.
"Acting means living, it's all I do and all I'm good at. If I weren't getting paid well, I would still be acting in a small troupe somewhere. As you grow in this business, you learn how to do more with less." - Morgan Freeman
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Iceman Cometh
Yesterday was my first day as an actual paid actor on set. The night before I was sent my call sheet for the next day. A call sheet has all the information to what will be going on that day. It has the names of the actors that will be on set, what time they will arrive and which scenes will be shot for the day. It also tells Other misc. info would include lunch time, how many background extras and the crew call. There was a sense of accomplishment when I saw my name on the call sheet, rather than a random number that is apart of group of background. Everyone was really cool. I didn't take me long to figure out that everyone, including the crew, had worked on other projects. So I was the odd man out for the most part. But on the other hand, I told myself that I was chosen from many others to join this cast. They must have seen something in me that made them think that I would be great to work with.
So I started my day going through hair and make up and running through the scenes with the other actors in my scene before we went and camera blocked the scene. The other actors had been apart of commercials and other projects, so it was humbling to be around talent that was my age to learn from. It was refreshing to have the director talk directly to me and tell me what she wanted. On the flip side, it was also nice to ask questions and receive good feedback. The scenes we shot were of me and two other bully's picking on this nerd. A lot of my lines were stepped on, or given to another actor, which was a total bummer, but I didn't let that ruin the experience I was enjoying. But I think what made me the most happy was the fact people knew me by name and not as "hey you" or "who did that cross by the table?"
This experience couldn't have come at a better time. With a lot of the shows on hiatus I have downtime that makes me second guess what I'm doing. Not to mention that the last couple days I have worked background the people have really done me in.
I had a guy follow me around the other day on set that got on my nerves. I'm all for meeting new people and all, but this guy made me want to do a swan dive off Mt. Rushmore. I made the mistake of saying hello. From there all I heard about was how he loves to skate and to act. But he doesn't want to be a pro skater or just an actor. He wants to be skating on camera with a little acting thrown in. . . WHAT?!? He kept telling me how his agent hasn't done much for him. Over and OVER. Which made me believe had a little something going for him. UNTIL, he started to complain how it was "so hard to get SAG Vouchers and THAT'S ALL he wanted to do. Was get SAG Vouchers. Right there, he basically blew his cover and something he could have worked off of to get a little further. But he basically straight up told me really didn't have anything going for him. He was just another person that is limiting themselves, in his case, to skateboarding/acting and NOTHING ELSE.
The greatest thing you must realize is to be open to anything and everything. Still have some boundaries. I'm not saying you gotta do porn or eat a cow's intestine to be recognized. Just don't limit yourself right out of the gate.
"As an actor and as a person you come together with being in familiar territory although that has not been my whole life. That's been a part of it. I think a lot of people associate me with the west because of Sundance." - Robert Redford
So I started my day going through hair and make up and running through the scenes with the other actors in my scene before we went and camera blocked the scene. The other actors had been apart of commercials and other projects, so it was humbling to be around talent that was my age to learn from. It was refreshing to have the director talk directly to me and tell me what she wanted. On the flip side, it was also nice to ask questions and receive good feedback. The scenes we shot were of me and two other bully's picking on this nerd. A lot of my lines were stepped on, or given to another actor, which was a total bummer, but I didn't let that ruin the experience I was enjoying. But I think what made me the most happy was the fact people knew me by name and not as "hey you" or "who did that cross by the table?"
This experience couldn't have come at a better time. With a lot of the shows on hiatus I have downtime that makes me second guess what I'm doing. Not to mention that the last couple days I have worked background the people have really done me in.
I had a guy follow me around the other day on set that got on my nerves. I'm all for meeting new people and all, but this guy made me want to do a swan dive off Mt. Rushmore. I made the mistake of saying hello. From there all I heard about was how he loves to skate and to act. But he doesn't want to be a pro skater or just an actor. He wants to be skating on camera with a little acting thrown in. . . WHAT?!? He kept telling me how his agent hasn't done much for him. Over and OVER. Which made me believe had a little something going for him. UNTIL, he started to complain how it was "so hard to get SAG Vouchers and THAT'S ALL he wanted to do. Was get SAG Vouchers. Right there, he basically blew his cover and something he could have worked off of to get a little further. But he basically straight up told me really didn't have anything going for him. He was just another person that is limiting themselves, in his case, to skateboarding/acting and NOTHING ELSE.
The greatest thing you must realize is to be open to anything and everything. Still have some boundaries. I'm not saying you gotta do porn or eat a cow's intestine to be recognized. Just don't limit yourself right out of the gate.
"As an actor and as a person you come together with being in familiar territory although that has not been my whole life. That's been a part of it. I think a lot of people associate me with the west because of Sundance." - Robert Redford
Monday, June 14, 2010
Courage Under Fire
Well, last week was pretty successful overall. Even though I only worked for one day, that day lasted over 12 hours provided me with overtime pay that really helps in the long run. On Monday night I had a table read with the entire cast, producers, and director for the feature film I start this week. For those who don't know, a table read is pretty much what it sounds. Everyone sits around a table and reads through the entire script to see how it sounds and what changes could be made. So that was nice to see who I would be working with and working for. The only bummer was that the finalized script had cut out a lot of my dialog, which means, A: I have a few less days of work on it and B: less camera time. The bright side is I made this far and know that I am making progress.
On Wednesday I had an audition for the part of an assassin in a feature film. It's not a big part, but vital to the story. I'm not going to lie, this was a live and learn audition. I definitely could have done a lot better. Not only did I forget a couple lines, but I had something break my concentration before going in. I let another person in the waiting room take my focus off what I came there to do. Which was get a job. The place where the auditions where being held was in a house turned studio. So from the outside it looked like it was someone's home. So I am sitting in the waiting room, and I hear the doorbell ring. Which I'm pretty sure screwed up the guy that was auditioning at the time. I ignored it and figured the guy would realize to turn the doorknob and come inside. Next thing I know he's banging and knocking on the door. Out of respect for the guy auditioning at that moment, I got up and answered the door.
The guy outside say's "Sup'" to me and moves right passed me to the waiting room. I just took it as a douche bag move and sat back in my chair. Then the guy starts talking to me about some babe he saw outside. Which normally I'm not going to hate on the description of a beautiful woman, but this is not the time or place. When I got to auditions, I don't talk to anyone in the room. They are my competition, so why would I want to be their friend? I'm there to get a job, I don't care if you got drunk last night or stubbed your toe on the way in. So it was my fault to let that get the best of me. Lesson learned.
"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance." - Harrison Ford
On Wednesday I had an audition for the part of an assassin in a feature film. It's not a big part, but vital to the story. I'm not going to lie, this was a live and learn audition. I definitely could have done a lot better. Not only did I forget a couple lines, but I had something break my concentration before going in. I let another person in the waiting room take my focus off what I came there to do. Which was get a job. The place where the auditions where being held was in a house turned studio. So from the outside it looked like it was someone's home. So I am sitting in the waiting room, and I hear the doorbell ring. Which I'm pretty sure screwed up the guy that was auditioning at the time. I ignored it and figured the guy would realize to turn the doorknob and come inside. Next thing I know he's banging and knocking on the door. Out of respect for the guy auditioning at that moment, I got up and answered the door.
The guy outside say's "Sup'" to me and moves right passed me to the waiting room. I just took it as a douche bag move and sat back in my chair. Then the guy starts talking to me about some babe he saw outside. Which normally I'm not going to hate on the description of a beautiful woman, but this is not the time or place. When I got to auditions, I don't talk to anyone in the room. They are my competition, so why would I want to be their friend? I'm there to get a job, I don't care if you got drunk last night or stubbed your toe on the way in. So it was my fault to let that get the best of me. Lesson learned.
"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance." - Harrison Ford
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