So I never heard back from the radio station about the job. I did write a follow up letter to keep me fresh in their minds. I got an email back saying they got it. But nothing since. Normally this wouldn't have an effect on me, but a man can only take so much for so long. Due to the lack of work and auditions in the past 4 months, I feel like I am in career limbo. The question of, 'do i work a job I love and make little to no money, or work a job that is tolerable and be financially stable?"
This is a question that EVERYONE deals with. I've had people tell me that they admire that I am going for my dream and not settling for just any job. Just like any dream job, it's sometimes next to impossible to achieve. Mine consists of being in the right place at the right time, 80% of the time. After giving it my hardest for 4 years, I feel like I don't really have much to show for it. Most people when they spend 4 years at the same job they receive multiple raises and promotions. That is a sense of accomplishment and reward for your hard work. Now imagine if you hadn't received even just a pat on the back for all the hustling and hard work you've done for 4 years. . . That's pretty much how I feel. As humans, God made us to encourage each other and give a helping hand to our fallen brother/sister. When there is a void in that area of our lives, it's hard somethings to find motivation to continue with the path that has been taken.
God says, "Just ask me, and I will begin to share with you the dreams I have for you life and for all of humanity. You can talk to me about the small stuff, or you can listen to me, and I will let you in on what I am thinking. It's going to be big!" It's hard to read that and hope that it happens tomorrow. Everything takes time, this I am aware, but my rent and bills can't be paid in prayer vouchers. So that's why it's hard sometimes to put my trust in God when my accomplishments are so small. I understand that small accomplishments sometimes are the pieces to the big picture, but I am also human so I struggle with every day problems. Plus, nothings easy when family lives so far away. Family is the best foundation we have, and when you only get that "home" feeling once, twice a year it can wear down on you after awhile. I have been blessed with the Watkins' and Geller families down here, they have provided me with fellowship and that good ol' family feeling. And that helps ten fold.
If you are at work day dreaming about a path that you should have taken, just remember that you didn't make a mistake by not doing it. Right now you are making a steady paycheck and working towards accomplishing that goal later in life. Make sure if you know someone you admire, tell them. Odds are they are really struggling and could really use some words of encouragement. They are going against the grain every day to make it a reality so they don't have to settle for just anything. Sadly enough it's easy to lose yourself in the process, because it's hard and negativity surrounds them. I've lost myself before and have come back. Although, it's harder each time than the last to bounce back. If you are reading this, then that means you support me, and I thank you.
Erwin McManus says, "Your circumstances do not determine your opportunities. Or if they do, it may well be quite the opposite than you expect. The more challenging your circumstances, the greater your opportunity to see God raise you to new levels of living."
Kyle, I may not know alot but one thing I do know is the Lord. I know that His timing is perfect and that is true wether we understand it or not. The Lord never promises that things will be easy but He promises to be there with you every step of the way. He also promises to provide for you.In matthew 6:25 He says: For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?" Of course this is easier preached than done or believed. I do know you somewhat as well, and I know your dedication to what you want will yield more than you can imagine IF you put HIm first. You must trust HIM. You also have to really and truly be willing to do His will. Whatever that may be, even if its not what you want. If doing HIs will and what He has planned for your life is your top priority, then I and He promises you that everything will work out. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart- psalm 37:4. Pray about it and don't try to be eloquent in your prayers, just talk to Him like you do a friend. Tell Him what you want and what your afraid of and expect it from Him because He promises it. Always remember when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so hard in the first place.
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