Well, it's the start of my 4th week at the radio station, and things are starting to fall into place. I know what the job entails and what is expected of me. It has been an adjustment and a lot of trial and error. It feels good to have a job that I can set a goal and accomplish it. When I was acting full time, there was never any certainty of anything. All empty promises. Sure, there are good things that came from it, and I learned a lot. But I was missing the point the entire time. I was doing everything on my own. It didn't matter how much effort I was putting into finding the work, and going to work. At the end of the day, there wasn't anyone there that cared how much of an effort I made to get the job. There was no fellowship, there wasn't any positivity. I was in the mix of a sea of people who were all out for themselves.
For the past 4 years I slowly lost some of the best qualities God gave me. I put all my focus and energy into making sure I had work the following day, and when the day was done, I neglected any blessings God had put in my path. When I started to fully commit to acting, all my beliefs, friendships, and relationships had started to slowly fall to the waist side. And I made some of the same mistakes more than once. I wasn't being a man. Sadly, when God wants to wake you up, he doesn't just give you a smack on the back of the head. He pulls the rug right from under you and you fall hard. God intervened in my life recently that really made an impact on my life, and the repercussions have been too much to bear at times. I will admit that I am a broken man, it's mostly why I haven't written to much in the past month or so. I'm getting my mind right.
William Booth said, "The greatness of a man's power is in the measure of his surrender." That is what God wants us to do. He wants us to surrender to him so that we may live the life he has planned for us. Unfortunately, I surrendered myself to what I thought it took to be successful in the entertainment industry. I wasn't being a man of God, or even a man for that matter. I was a guy who thought he was focused and thought that all his hard days were behind him. Not the case.
In my heart I have always known that I wanted a christian home, a family, with 3 kids, and a job that can provide for them. By going after acting, I found that it was all about me in the present time, not looking to the future that I know God has for me. With the lifestyle I had fallen into, there is NO WAY I could be the man/husband/father that could take care of his children and wife. When I realized this concept, I broke down and cried (not one of my finer moments). I cried because I wasn't being the man God wanted me to become at this point in my life. It is too much for me to bear to go through such heartache again. To me, those are the most important things in life, family and fellowship, and how could I have those things with the mindset I had created over the past couple years. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen overnight or with a snap of fingers.
With this new job, it has helped me find myself again. I say this because it has given me stability back in my life. My hours of operation aren't 15 hour days. I can go and worship with people my age again on a weeknight. I can save money for the future again. Friends, Family, and relationships have always meant the world to me, and I want to show all of you again the person you feel in love with. For those of you who have met me in the last couple years, you met me on my way down. Please forgive me. I will not stay the man who worries about money (God will provide) worries about petty things (God will provide)gets irritated with his fellow man (ask God for patience). I'm finally becoming the man God meant for me to be.
"Surrender your whole being to him, to be used for righteous purposes." - Romans 6:13
Monday, November 22, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
New Venture: Radio
Well, as most of you know, I got the job working at Amp Radio here in Los Angeles. For those of you who don't live down here, this radio plays "today's hits," top 40 songs. As most of you know, I am a pop culture fanatic. So coming into the job, I already had a lot of knowledge as to what was going on in the music industry. The building is really cool. It is also part of the world famous KROQ radio station that plays rock music. The coolest part is to walk down halls lined with platinum plaques of almost every artist you can think of. So the environment is really comfortable for me. It reminds of my first day of walking onto a studio lot. Just knowing of all the history that had been made there. I got the same feeling as I walked through the same halls rock stars have before me.
My co-workers are really open and really cool. I am the only male in my department. So they said it was a nice change to have me around. Ha Ha Ha. It feels to have co-workers again. Doing background work you see some of the same people every once in awhile, but even sometimes they aren't the people I talk to. They are just a familiar face. I have fellowship once again, and have the sense of building friendships with these people. What is also cool about the job, is that all the other jobs I have had in the past have prepared me in different areas. Because of my background of working for Enterprise Rent a Car, I am able to drive around the big cars to the events. My sales job taught me skills of how to talk to people over the phone the right way. Doing background acting got me familiar with the greater L.A. area and it's odd hour schedule has made me fit in just fine.
Another surreal moment was knowing that I work under DJ Carson Daly. I watched TRL every weekday for the 10 years it was on. Back in high school I never thought that one day I would actually be working at the same radio station and maybe follow in his same steps that got him to where he is today. The job requires a lot of talking to people and giving input on how to make the station better and keep up with our rival station, KIIS Fm.
To answer some questions, I have not given up on acting all together. This job also allows me to keep my regular spot on "How I Met Your Mother" and to go to auditions and still work background. I just NEVER have to do it every day EVER again. It is now a job to keep me in the know, and to fill in the holes during the week; if there are days to fill that is. Radio is another aspect of entertainment that has great opportunity. Now, after 4 years of hustling, I have accomplished all I could do in that area. With a steady job, with an actual ladder to climb, and to be able to still audition is very ideal. I can now finally save money to start a family AND do what I love at the same time. Thank you to everyone that has prayed for me and kept me from not going losing my mind. . . completely. I can't wait to see where this new path takes me, and can't wait to see how God will help continue to help me grow.
In times like these, I look to the bible verse my mom gave me the day I was born;
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
My co-workers are really open and really cool. I am the only male in my department. So they said it was a nice change to have me around. Ha Ha Ha. It feels to have co-workers again. Doing background work you see some of the same people every once in awhile, but even sometimes they aren't the people I talk to. They are just a familiar face. I have fellowship once again, and have the sense of building friendships with these people. What is also cool about the job, is that all the other jobs I have had in the past have prepared me in different areas. Because of my background of working for Enterprise Rent a Car, I am able to drive around the big cars to the events. My sales job taught me skills of how to talk to people over the phone the right way. Doing background acting got me familiar with the greater L.A. area and it's odd hour schedule has made me fit in just fine.
Another surreal moment was knowing that I work under DJ Carson Daly. I watched TRL every weekday for the 10 years it was on. Back in high school I never thought that one day I would actually be working at the same radio station and maybe follow in his same steps that got him to where he is today. The job requires a lot of talking to people and giving input on how to make the station better and keep up with our rival station, KIIS Fm.
To answer some questions, I have not given up on acting all together. This job also allows me to keep my regular spot on "How I Met Your Mother" and to go to auditions and still work background. I just NEVER have to do it every day EVER again. It is now a job to keep me in the know, and to fill in the holes during the week; if there are days to fill that is. Radio is another aspect of entertainment that has great opportunity. Now, after 4 years of hustling, I have accomplished all I could do in that area. With a steady job, with an actual ladder to climb, and to be able to still audition is very ideal. I can now finally save money to start a family AND do what I love at the same time. Thank you to everyone that has prayed for me and kept me from not going losing my mind. . . completely. I can't wait to see where this new path takes me, and can't wait to see how God will help continue to help me grow.
In times like these, I look to the bible verse my mom gave me the day I was born;
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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